What Do You Need to Stop Doing?

The Second of Three Critical Questions

Last week, we posed the first of three critical questions asked by Dr. Phil in his new book, Life Code.  What are you doing that’s working for you?  Hopefully you experienced several aha’s and gained some rich insights that you can leverage even further on your way to living your life more fully.

This week, we’re posing the second of the three questions:  What do you need to stop doing that’s getting in the way of what you want?

While all three questions require us to be very honest, this question requires an extra depth of honesty and soul-searching. The things we need to stop doing in all probability fall in a number of areas.  Here are just 6 to begin with:

1.     Face your gremlins; that inner critic that thinks it is protecting you by erecting barriers that impede our progress and success.

2.     Uncover the fears lurking just below the surface as well as those buried deep from years and even generations of other people’s fears.

3.     Take a long and close look at the people in your life and assess who contributes positive or toxic (catabolic) energy to your life

4.     Identify areas where you need to be more disciplined

5.     Recognize the default negative thoughts and feelings you fall victim to when under stress

6.     Acknowledge your favorite forms of procrastination

One of the first things we all probably need to do is stop listening to our inner critic. The primary role of our inner critic is to stand guard of our consciousness and ensure that nothing new enters to upset the status quo.  It is very good at its job and like most of us, cannot stand the thought of being unemployed.  But it doesn’t have to become unemployed.  We can actually assign a new role for it and enlist its aid in accomplishing our goals.

Another thing we should probably stop doing is holding on to those fears that are wrapped up in what we’ve been taught all of our lives.  Beliefs we hold that are based on untruths or other people’s fears and experiences, especially around gender, and age and race.  There are so many things that can be lurking just below the surface that are creating barriers to our progress and success.

Then there’s our circle of family and friends and acquaintances.

Are there people in your life who always find ways to make you feel less than, always have some disparaging or condescending comment to make about you or something you want to do? These are energy vampires.  Energy vampires are easy to spot.  You are usually emotionally and mentally exhausted after spending time with them.  They are always taking and almost never giving.  And what’s more, you know who they are.

This introspection will help you become more self aware and help you determine whether you are in alignment with your core values.  Discontinuing those thoughts, habits and behaviors that are an impediment to your forward progress will actually increase the amount of mental and emotional energy available to you to live your life more fully.

All of the above amount to understanding your Total Energetic Capacity, or your E-Factor.  How much of your total energy are you making available to yourself on any given day?  Where is your energy leaking out or, who are the energy vampires in your life?   How does your stress reaction sidetrack you?

Get a handle on the things that are not so obvious that you need to stop doing in order to move forward in your life.   Learn about your Total Energetic Capacity and how not to be an unwitting victim to your thoughts and beliefs.    Give me a call.  I’d welcome the opportunity to explain how working with me as your professional and confidential coach, you can uncover the answers to all of these questions and more.

Empowering question of the week: Of the 6 areas noted above, which will you tackle this week?  Send me a note and let me know how did.


Remember, believe and live forward,


*Life Code, by Dr. Phil McGraw debuted #1 on the New York Times best sellers list.


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